My dear, just imagine for a moment that the war is over.

A Selection of Excerpts
Second Year
February 1943

Letter No. 21.

February 3, 1943

... My dearest H..., I have to ask something right away, otherwise I’ll forget it. Has a letter of mine actually ever been opened? You see, someone here got caught sending money in letters—which is forbidden, after all. It is possible, then, that letters have been checked recently. ...

Letter No. 22.

February 4, 1943
My beloved sweetheart.

Today was a very lovely day once again, and a memorable one, too. Today marks the start of my third year of service in the Wehrmacht. It began beautifully. I set out on skis in the morning to visit a few comrades from my replacement company. First, we skied across the terrain for a few hours. The weather was so fine, after all; it was great fun. After the meal, we celebrated a little. My First Lieutenant gave me a bottle of cognac.

In the afternoon, we were lucky enough to spend a few happy hours together. We had visitors from Vienna—two young women and their father. They played the zither and sang lovely songs that made home feel very close again. Oh, my sweetheart, if only you could have been there; it would have been twice as wonderful. But my thoughts were with you the entire time.

Oh, my darling, it was truly beautiful. Almost like being at home. You know, it reminded me of my time in the Labor Service. I was in Austria back then, and there was an evening just like this one, where Austrian girls sang folk songs.

And now I am back in my bunker. We are stationed up on a ridge here, and our bunker sits there like an Alpine hut. When you step outside, you can immediately take a nice run down the mountain behind it. It could be quite pleasant here, were it not for this wretched war. But it can never compare to Germany, and I certainly wouldn't trade places. ...

Letter No. 23.

5 Feb. 1943
My dearest darling!

It’s nearly 12 o'clock again. I’m on fire watch until 2 o'clock, so I want to write you a quick letter. It’s so nice and quiet here at the moment. We were in really high spirits again this evening.

A few days ago, a comrade returned from leave. He’s a real "Berlin loudmouth," but a great guy and, above all, a funny one. He always livens up our bunch. Well, today we got one bottle of liqueur for eight men, and he entertained us with a few routines. Among other things, a *Führer* speech, Moser, Theo Lingen, Zarah Leander, etc. Our bellies ached from laughing so hard. It was a really cozy time.

Yes, my dearest H..., that’s how we chase away gloomy thoughts here and never let a bad mood take hold. Even the Russians can’t rob us of our sense of humor, despite everything. ...

Letter No. 24.

6 Feb. 1943
My beloved darling!

I was overjoyed to receive your lovely, long letter today, dated Jan. 24th. Dearest H..., I thank you with all my heart for such loving words. Oh, how wonderful it would be to be there with you at home in a nice, warm room right now.

It is Saturday evening again. It is already half-past ten, but you know, my dearest darling, this is always the quietest time, and it is when I most love writing to you. Oh, you know, my darling, I would write to you at any hour of the day, but unfortunately, I never get the chance.

One simply has to make the most of one's time, and I get the most out of it when I have some peace and quiet and can think about my dearly beloved darling. Truly—thank God—I have quite a lot of time, and I can be with my sweetheart in my thoughts day and night.

My dearest darling, today I was out skiing for four hours again. It is great fun, and it is really good to be able to get some exercise; it keeps one's bones from getting rusty.

My dearly beloved darling, you write that it is a great pity I cannot be with you—otherwise I could feel just how happy you are. Well, my dearest darling, believe me when I say that I sense it perfectly. Your letters are so full of love and happiness that it couldn't be any other way. And what a wealth of joyful, beautiful, and happy hours you give me with these lovely lines.

Oh, my dearest sweetheart, for the time being, the only way I can thank you for that is by writing to you as often as possible—and you know how much I love doing that.

My dearest H..., as willingly and joyfully as we fulfill our duty, we would naturally all be very glad if this whole war were finally over and we could return home to our loved ones. Well, let’s firmly hope that it won’t last much longer.

My dearest sweetheart, you know that back home, people aren't safe anymore either. Enemy planes could show up at any moment. We, too, often think of our loved ones back home with anxiety and worry—especially when the radio reports that "Tommy" has been in southern Germany. I always wait anxiously for the next mail call, and it is such a relief to read that Tommy wasn't there, or at least that nothing happened.

My dearest sweetheart, when we go out on reconnaissance patrols, we don't volunteer for them. It’s a matter of taking turns—one man goes one time, another the next. I’ve been on so many patrols that I have no desire to do them anymore. Especially now, with the deep snow and that 40-pound radio set. When we’re out for the usual five to eight hours, we are absolutely done in by the end. We’ve had more than enough.

It is a good thing, after all, that the Russian is not a good soldier and is neither well-equipped nor well-trained; otherwise, given their numerical superiority, we wouldn't stand a chance.

My dearest darling, we don't even think about the possibility of things going wrong. When you are in the thick of battle, there is only one thought—because it is always a matter of life and death—and that thought is: "You or me—but you first!" Yes, my dearest H..., I never imagined one could be so cold and brutal. But when your own life is at stake, it happens quite naturally. That is when the instinct for self-preservation truly kicks in. Everyone holds their life dear, and you fight tooth and nail to defend it, no matter how dire the situation. Well, you always need a bit of luck, and so far, that has always been on my side.

I was luckiest of all during my last leave; I feel that more and more—so much so that I hardly know what to do with it all. I can see that the only solution is another leave or a transfer to Burgholzhof.

Oh, if only it were that simple—I’d be there already. But for the time being, we have to finish off the Russians; otherwise, they’ll just come chasing after us, and that simply cannot be allowed to happen.

Now, my dearest darling, isn't it wonderful that people envy you for all the mail you receive? My comrades, too, often remark on how much I write. My sweet love, it always makes me so happy to read in your dear letters how delighted and happy you are. That is the most wonderful thing, and I firmly believe that this love will last forever and only grow stronger and deeper.

I don't know if what I'm writing here is right, but I always tell myself that a girl has to be won over. It is certainly not right for a girl to simply say yes and amen to everything. That is why I believe things can only get better for us, and that next time we will surely love each other even more.

My beloved darling, there was a time when I was terribly afraid of losing you again. Do you remember when we sat in the church garden and you were so unhappy and crying? Dearest H..., I don't know what I would have done if you had said no. I didn't know what to do, because I didn't want to let you go, yet I could never have borne the thought of you becoming unhappy with me. And then, when I gave you a picture of myself the next day, and you said with a laugh, "I'm keeping this forever!", I was so unspeakably happy that I didn't know what to say.

Yes, my darling, loved above all else, that was the most beautiful moment for me. I knew then: everything is fine now; nothing can go wrong anymore. Dearest H..., I hardly slept that night, I was so happy, and I thank God for granting me such infinite happiness and so much love in you. ...

... And that it has to be *this* war, of all things, that keeps separating us again and again for such long and indefinite periods. But there is a song about this, after all: "Everything passes, everything comes to an end, and for us, a truly beautiful May will surely come."

Dearest sweetheart, was that real coffee so strong that it gave you heart palpitations? Well, the main thing is that it tasted good. My dearest H..., I don't really know why I should give you a "friendly" hair-washing, but if you think so, then get some good shampoo and I'll try my hand at the art. I actually have a reason to do so today, given all the things written there.

I must most emphatically object to your dear lines—which mean so much to me—being called "rubbish"; I simply can't get enough of reading them, as they always bring me such joy and make me so happy. That remark about having Jewish ancestry really takes the cake. Didn't you grab her by the collar right then and there?

My dearest sweetheart, even if that *were* the case, it wouldn't change my love for you one bit. As for that advice to break off our engagement—I’m going to pretend I never read that. Well, there’s a time for jokes, of course, but please give Frau R... my regards, and if she feels like being at odds with me, she’s welcome to keep it up. But I’m warning her in advance: she’s the one who’ll come off worse in the end. ...

Letter No. 25.

February 7, 1943

... A strong, cold wind is blowing again today, drifting snow all over our positions. That means constant snow-shoveling. February is supposed to be the snowiest month in this region, but if things stay this way, we’ll be satisfied. A quarter of the month has already passed, and hardly any snow has fallen. ...

We’re managing all right with the cold. We’ve had a few very cold days, but we didn’t reach the 52 degrees [below zero] we saw last winter. Now, of course, we’re slowly heading toward spring. ...

Letter No. 27.

10 Feb. 1943

... 1 letter dated 28 Jan., 4 small packages of sugar, 1 small package of sugar pralines, and two small packages of cigarettes and writing paper arrived today. ...

The Russian is still keeping quiet, and we would advise him not to provoke us. He is going to get the final blow soon anyway. We are firmly convinced that these desperate attacks are his last gasp. ...

Letter No. 28.

11 Feb. 1943
My beloved darling!

By candlelight and with lovely music playing from Radio Belgrade, I want to write a few lines to you, my darling. The song "Everything Passes" has just come on. It plays every evening at 9:45 from Belgrade. Easy for *them* to say.

Of course, everything passes, but it takes such a long time for that moment to finally arrive. Well, let us hope that everything here is over soon, at least, so that I may be with my dear darling again very soon and spend so many beautiful, happy hours with you. ...

Letter No. 30.

14 Feb. 1943
My dear sweetheart.

We are having a very lovely Sunday morning. The sun is shining in at an angle through our bunker window. So, accompanied by nice music, we are now awaiting lunch—which today consists, once again, of a roast and potatoes boiled in their skins.

Everything outside is turning to water now, and soon the mud and mire will begin all over again. We can hardly believe that winter is supposed to be over already, but that suits us just fine. It is only to our advantage. ...

Now, my sweetheart, there is something else on my mind. After all, men and women everywhere are currently being drafted for some kind of work.

My dearest H..., how does that affect you? Do you have to go somewhere else to work now, or are you allowed to stay where you are? My dearest sweetheart, please write and tell me how this regulation is playing out. If you do have to leave, I hope you get a really good position. I would much prefer it if you could stay where you are, or perhaps get a job in an office—but certainly not somewhere in a factory. ...

Letter No. 34.

18 Feb. 1943

... I am certainly curious to see if things work out with Radio Belgrade. ...

Letter No. 35.

19 Feb. 1943
My dearest darling!

Please forgive me for not keeping my promise yesterday; unfortunately, the broadcast was cancelled due to Dr. Goebbels' speech, and sadly, nothing came through today either. It is a great shame, but there is nothing that can be done about it. It probably won't be the only thing we wish for that doesn't come to pass.

... Oh, my beloved darling, how wonderful it will be when the time comes and they say "the war is over"—when there is peace again. When one can buy whatever one wants again, and have one's loved ones and home back. Then we will make the most of life and savor our happiness to the fullest.

My dear darling, Dr. Goebbels has now made it clear to our enemies what they can expect from us. Unfortunately, this total mobilization of all available forces demands some heavy sacrifices from the home front, too. But it is necessary if we want to save our lives and our country from Bolshevik terror.

Yet the sun will shine all the brighter and more beautifully for us once we have defeated our enemies. And we will do so thoroughly, ensuring we have peace for all time. ...