My dear, just imagine for a moment that the war is over.

A Selection of Excerpts
Second Year
December 1943

Letter No. 194.

The East, Dec. 4, 1943
My dearest darling!

I have just a little bit of time, so I want to write you a few words. We were on the move for nearly three days again and are now back in a nice, quiet position. I am in a fine, solid bunker. It has a roof that makes it practically bombproof. ...

Letter No. 195.

The East, Dec. 4, 1943

... My dearest, precious darling, I still have my little dog with me. He is so nice, sweet, and affectionate. Perhaps I’ll be lucky and can bring him home with me on leave. ...

Letter No. 196.

Eastern Front, Dec. 6, 1943

... My dearest darling, I want to tell you a little more now. I am no longer a squad leader, but a team leader—specifically, for a medium mortar.

I am still with the same unit, but I am no longer right up at the front line; instead, I am about 500 meters further back. So, it isn't quite as dangerous for me now, and you can rest a little easier.

If the Russians attack now, I won't be in as much danger, and I can beat them back with heavy ordnance. After all, it is an eight-centimeter shell, and it packs a powerful punch.

Well, aren't you pleased that I'm a bit further back now? ...

Letter No. 198.

The East, Dec. 8, 1943

... We finished our position today and are moving tomorrow morning. We’re pulling back about 500 meters. From there, we’ll send a few things over to our friend Ivan. That’s what we call the Russians. ...

Letter No. 199.

The East, Dec. 9, 1943
My dearest, darling fiancée!

So, we moved early this morning and are now in our new quarters. We made a very good trade this time, for our new bunker is much nicer. It is larger and brighter, and we feel very comfortable here. ...

We have settled in quite nicely, and tomorrow we will spruce it up a bit more. I have already found a spot for your picture, and now it hangs on the wall next to me and next to my own picture. ...

Letter No. 201.

The East, Dec. 10, 1943

... Sometimes I can barely stand the longing, but things simply have to go on this way. It is war, after all, and duty comes first.

We are all very willing to fulfill this duty, for protecting the homeland—and with it, one’s beloved—is the greatest thing we can do; no sacrifice is too great and no duty too arduous for that cause. Thus, all my thoughts are always with you, with God, and with home. ...

My dearest darling, my Peterle is unfortunately still in the field hospital. He received a blood transfusion, and I hope he is doing better now. He sends you his warmest regards.

My dearest sweetheart, I can answer "yes" to your question about whether we laugh. We do not lose our sense of humor, no matter how bad things get. You can believe me when I say there is plenty to laugh about.

We all laughed at the clipping from the *NS-Kurier*. Yes, it is amusing what ideas children come up with. ...

Letter No. 203.

The East, December 13, 1943

... The hour of our reunion will come for us, too, eventually. After all, we are getting closer to it with every passing second. Once we start writing the year 1944, it will be easier to make calculations.

Practically the only ones getting leave right now are those who have suffered bomb damage. They really wreaked havoc in Berlin.

My darling, loved above all else, I am so glad that you are still doing quite well and, above all, that the air raids haven't brought you any misfortune yet.

Let us hope and place our firm trust in God that things will remain this way. I constantly pray to God to protect you, and I firmly believe that He will grant this request. ...

Letter No. 205.

The East, 15 Dec. 1943

... I want to tell you a little more about my friend now. I did write to you once about that nice little dog we have. It is a wolf-dog and shepherd mix named "Freia." For some time now, she has belonged to me.

Her owner disappeared, so I took her in. Oh, my darling, she is such a sweet creature. She is always with me and feels very much at home. Well, you know how much I love dogs, so you can imagine that she is well looked after with me.

Oh, it is a nice change of pace. She is about 4 months old now and wants to play all day long. She always sleeps beside me at night, and when I am not out with her, she lies on my bed during the day, too. ...

Letter No. 206.

The East, December 17, 1943
My dearest darling!

I was overjoyed to receive your lovely letter today—the one dated December 6th—and I thank you for it with all my heart. It arrived so quickly that I didn't even notice how long it had been since you last wrote. Mail delivery is so irregular, after all. About a week ago, I received a letter dated November 25th, and three days ago, one from November 22nd. ...

I would have loved to be with you on that particular day. Unfortunately, however, it wasn't possible. We can't just leave here whenever we feel like it; otherwise, the Russians would come after us—and we want to keep them off our backs, and especially off yours. That is, after all, absolutely essential. ...

Letter No. 209.

The East, Dec. 21, 1943

... So now I am celebrating Christmas with you in my thoughts and dreams. My dearly beloved little treasure—the worst part is simply waking up. Often, I can hardly believe that I am in my bunker in Russia when I wake from such a beautiful dream. I look around my bunker in sheer disbelief.

But that is simply the nature of war, with its harsh and relentless reality. Yet—my dearest, most beloved little treasure—no matter how harsh and relentless it may be, I won't let it get the better of me. Not a chance! ...

Letter No. 210.

The East, December 22, 1943
My dearest, precious treasure!

Oh, today was such a wonderful day, and I simply had to write you a quick letter to tell you what happened.

Yes, my dearest, precious treasure—you’ll be amazed! Where do you think I was today? You’d never guess. We had a field service today. It was a Holy Mass, including Communion and Confession. Oh, my beloved treasure, it was so beautiful, and we all returned to our bunkers strengthened, refreshed, and spiritually uplifted.

The priest was from Heilbronn. He spoke beautifully and well, and we all gained so much from that hour. It was a great pity that our time was so short. I would have liked to speak with the priest. But perhaps next time we’ll have a little more time.

Oh, my beloved treasure, I will never regret converting to the Catholic Church; on the contrary, I will do everything I can to be baptized as soon as possible, so that I may very soon share in all the great goodness and grace of our Church. ...

Letter No. 211.

The East, December 23, 1943
My beloved H...!

In an hour, this day too will be over, and only a few hours separate us from the holy festival of Christmas. Oh, my dearest, truly beloved treasure—what might you be doing at this moment? Surely your thoughts are on their way to me, and perhaps somewhere out there they have met up with mine.

My darling, dearest treasure, I keep thinking of the kind and good words of our pastor. He gave us so much beauty in his Christmas sermon yesterday, and we will long remember that hour when we were so close to our God and Redeemer.

Oh, my dearest, precious treasure, I want to be forever grateful to our dear God—and to you—for making me so infinitely happy through you and for leading me to this good and beautiful community of faith.

My beloved H..., today we have also made concrete preparations for Christmas. We set up a lovely little Christmas tree and tidied everything up nicely. Oh, you should have seen how hard we all worked today.

Windows were cleaned, and the table was scrubbed with broken glass and hot water, so that everything would look truly beautiful for tomorrow.

This evening we received cookies, candies, a bar of chocolate, cigars, cigarettes, tobacco, brandy, and sparkling wine. But that is not all. There are supposed to be some more good things coming in the next few days.

So you see, we are doing well and receiving plenty of good things. But how gladly I would forgo it all if only I could be with you right now.

Hopefully, that will be possible for us next time. And now, my dear sweetheart, I am going to bed and dream of you—sweetly and lovingly.

Sending you loving greetings from the bottom of my heart and kissing you a thousand times over, most tenderly,
Your eternally faithful and loving
Lothar

203. (Actually: 213.)

The East, Dec. 25, 1943
My dearest H...!

Now that Christmas Day has passed, I want to send you a brief, affectionate greeting. I am still doing very well, and I certainly hope the same is true for you. We spent today quite pleasantly, too. It was fairly quiet.

Early this morning, the Russians tried to harass us with artillery fire, but they paid a heavy price for it. We retaliated with such heavy fire from all our weapons that they lost all desire to keep shooting. Otherwise, everything was very quiet, and Ivan left us alone. I hope Tommy left you in peace, too. ...

Letter No. 214.

The East, 26 Dec. 1943

... What I would love to do most is pack my things and come to you as quickly as possible. But unfortunately, that isn't possible—otherwise I would have done it long ago.

First comes our duty to the Fatherland, and thus to you as well. We are happy to fulfill this duty, for in doing so, we are able to shield you from some of the horrors of this war.

If we were all to go home now, the Russians would immediately follow us, and then it would be the end of everything. Things would become far more difficult for all of us then. ...

Letter No. 215.

The East, 27 Dec. 1943

..., don't you worry about the cold. We have very nice weather. It isn't cold at all yet. There is snow everywhere, of course, but we hardly ever put on our winter gear. ...

Letter No. 216.

The East, Dec. 29, 1943

... My dearest, precious darling, my application for marriage is now being processed. However, it will take about 5 or 6 weeks before everything is ready for me to receive approval. But once that happens, I will immediately apply for marriage leave. Let us hope, though, that I have a bit more luck this time and actually get it.

February will mark the eighth month since my last leave, and after 8 or 9 months, I would be due for it again anyway. But let’s not worry our heads about that just yet, for things usually turn out differently than one expects....